Is There Life for Men after DivorceSee All Reviews
Divorce… that’s a terrible word which most loving husbands are afraid to hear from their wives. Or the only way out, an undesired but still a necessary solution that a man has to make after finding out that his wife cheated on him. While many say that divorce is not the end and people should find the strength to get through it and live further starting everything over, it is much harder to do than one may imagine.
Many men have no idea how to move on after divorce at first when their life has suddenly turned on its head. Do you go on pretending that everything is alright and hide your rage inside where it burns like hellfire, spoiling your mind and making you hate, but still love, the woman you had so much happiness with and who stabbed you with the sharpest dagger right in your heart without any piece of mercy? How is it possible at all to start a life over, when you were betrayed by the one you once trusted the most?
It is easy to give tips on how to start a new life after divorce for men. But those of you who have really been in such a situation, or have it right now, know that all the pieces of advice do not work. It is very easy to say not to give up, that she doesn’t deserve you, that you will find a better woman, that she was not your true love, and so on. However, for a man who has just faced a divorce, none of it matters. They try to cope with it as they can and quite often only complicate the situation, making their life even worse. So, instead of telling what to do, I’d like to give a couple bits of advice concerning what you SHOULD NOT do.
What Men After Divorce Should Never Do
No matter what was the reason for a divorce, you are now in an imbalanced situation. Your world has a crack in it, and you may make a lot of mistakes which you will regret long after. I recommend not to make any serious decisions, especially during the first few months. Emotions take over, while logic and rational thinking depart.
Sex after divorce is the worst revenge
Men, especially after they caught their wives cheating on them, decide that now, being single again, they can and even must have sex with other women. I see two reasons for such an immediate decision to find a new sexual partner or just random sex.
A strive for revenge“How could she do this to me? How did she dare to cheat on me? Now I will pay her back!”The problem is that your ex-wife doesn’t care whether you have sex with other women or not. If she did, she wouldn’t have done that.
“Well, she’s gone, but I will not be an outsider. I am still in the game and can easily find a woman, maybe, even a few.”The reason why men start searching for a new female is the desire to compensate the loss by any means necessary and reclaim that status of a man.
Sex after divorce is the least that most men really want and need. Even if they do really want sex, then only with their ex-wife, even if they hate her. An attempt to find oblivion in a company of another woman will not bring the desired result. Random sex will give nothing but a bitter taste and a reminder that your wife is gone and you are not married anymore.
Drinking will not help you to forget
Alcohol has never helped to solve any problem, it only made things worse. If you believe that drinking every night will help you not to think about your wife, your marriage, and where you are now, you are wrong. You will still remember all that, but in addition, you will also get an awful taste of hangover every morning when you wake up in your bed alone, realizing that she’s gone and everything is bad now. Drinking is a true path to nowhere. It is okay to get drunk after divorce, who wouldn’t, your life has changed. But one night is enough, do not repeat it day after day.
Pretending that everything is alright
Nothing is alright, be honest with yourself, do not wear a mask. Let yourself be weak for a while. Divorce is not just a little problem, that is a serious moment of your life which will leave a footprint on you. You cannot just live your life further pretending that nothing serious has happened.
A Few Tips That Will Help You To Move On
Life goes on, she’s gone, but for you, it is just the beginning, a chance to start everything over and not to repeat previous mistakes. There is a good saying - The one who loves you will never leave and betray, and if she does, she has never loved. So, what should you do after a divorce?
Pay more attention to yourself
Instead of self-reflection and trying to understand why your marriage ended with a divorce, you’d better concentrate on your self-improvement. You will hardly find the real reason, sometimes people themselves cannot understand why they want a divorce. It just happened. Your life continues, and you still should look good, eat well, and spend more time outside.
Workouts are the best painkiller
If you have been doing regular workouts before, you know it yourself. There is no better way to forget about everything then having an exhausting training. If you haven’t, then I recommend you to start. Find a good coach who will push your body to the limits. Advantages? You lose contact with reality for at least one hour. You will be too exhausted and will fall asleep immediately after getting home. Physical exercises also help to reduce stress and make you fit. Well, there are only advantages, and thus, I strongly advise to follow this tip.
Concentrate on work
Now you have a lot of free time. I know that doesn’t sound inspiring because the reason is a divorce. Nevertheless, the fact is that you got additional time and energy. Instead of wasting it on self-destruction and self-pity, invest it in work. Trust me, it is better to concentrate on work, and you will be surprised by the results you will have achieved in a year once you direct all your inner hate and anger to the right channel.
Life is not over even if you are 40 or more
Those men who get divorced in late 20s or early 30s do not have that fear that most men in their 40s or 50s do. Not everyone knows how to date after divorce when you are not young anymore. That is the question that bothers most males after a divorce. However, there are even those who truly believe that dating after divorce in your 30s is impossible and none of the women will be interested in such a relationship. To dispel this myth, I can say that age is not a verdict. No matter how old you are, dating is something that is not influenced by age.
The problem may be that you cannot find a single woman of your age or a younger one in your neighborhood. Come on, guys, it’s the 21st century, and the Internet can help in solving many issues, including dating. There are a lot of dating websites on the web that you can use to find a soulmate. And the ladies who visit these sites do really want to find a husband or somebody they can spend the rest of their lives with. There are even those sites which are oriented on a specific age category of people, for example, for those who are over 40, 50, and even 60. So, as you can see, dating after divorce at 40 is not the end, but it can be the beginning of a new journey.