How to Find a Woman if I’m an Introvert

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how to find a woman for an introvert

It is commonly believed that all people are divided into extroverts and introverts. The first are imagined as people who are constantly smiling and open for random conversations. It is not a problem for them at all to start chatting with a stranger standing in the line for coffee or having a ride on a bus. Invite a girl for a date? - Hah, a piece of cake. - What if she refuses? - Not a problem, next time I will be luckier.

Introverts are the exact opposite of extroverts. To talk with people they do not know or even those with whom they work but do not have friendly relationships is a total nightmare for them. These people are usually quiet and silent and prefer to stay in the shadow because they do not like being in the spotlight. They often lack the confidence to invite a girl they like on a date, and even if they could muster up the courage, but get a refusal… that would be a terrible strike unhinging them for weeks or even months. No need to say that the next attempt to flirt with a girl will not be soon.

So, why is dating so hard for introverts? - Because they are often too shy, have little confidence, take everything close to heart, and view each refusal as a result of personal imperfection. However, many introverts are very interesting conversationalists, but since they cannot overcome the initial stage of acquaintance (it’s the hardest part), they often feel lonely and cannot find a woman for a long time.

If you believe that because of your introversion you cannot find a woman, here are a few good tips that will help you to start relationships with a girl easier.

Do not create an image of who you are not

Some introverts realize their shy nature and start pretending to be a kind of a person they are not. For instance, a stereotypical image of a brutal alpha male or a self-confident macho seems a right solution for them. This tactic may even play out for some time. However, it is very difficult to be who you really are not for long, and sooner or later you'll become tired of wearing a mask of another person.

Will the girl who was attracted to a confident brutal man accept the true you? You may believe that she will, but nobody likes to be deceived, and that’s exactly what you did.

Just imagine that you have met the hottest woman in the world with the perfect body and natural beauty, and the next day it turns out that she is not so beautiful after all. Somehow, she got 40 extra pounds, and her natural beauty was just makeup. Wouldn’t you be disappointed? Wouldn’t you feel like you have been lied to? Would you like to continue the relationships with this person? You know the answers, so why do you think she’d like to be with a man who pretends to be someone else?

There's someone for everyone, and there are a lot of ladies who need exactly the one like you. Not each and every woman wants to see a stereotypical macho next to her. Just be yourself because the reason why you cannot find a woman is not that you do not match some specific criteria. Probably, the core problem lies in other factors, so let’s discuss them too.

Be open to random conversations

You may say - Well, I have always been myself and never wore masks. Nevertheless, it didn’t help me a lot, and I still cannot find a woman. For such a remark, I have an answer. Introverts, by their nature, prefer to avoid a lot of communication. Haven’t you noticed that every time you leave your home, you put in your earphones? When you are waiting in line, you prefer surfing on the Internet. You avoid contact with the real world at all cost. So how could you find a woman if you close yourself in a shell and do not give even a chance for someone else to enter your comfort zone?

I was reading dating for introverts reddit posts, and in one of them, I found a really good piece of advice. If you want to find a woman, you should practice random conversations. What is it, and how will it help with your problem?

The idea is that you lack the practice of talking with strangers. That’s why when you meet a woman you like (you already feel a bit nervous), you don’t know where to begin, how to start talking, how not to fail with the first phrase. I am sure you know what I am talking about, and you got that don’t know how to start a conversation with her feeling.

Instead of avoiding contact with the real world, I offer you to communicate with it. Do not focus only on females, that’s not important. You need to practice the skill of randomly talking to people so that you could learn how to do that without getting a ton of stress. And when the next time you see a pretty girl who looks at you with a welcoming smile, you will know how to start a conversation with her.

Try not to dwell too much on romantic rejection

Ok, you have overcome your fear of talking to strangers, and it is not a problem for you to initiate a conversation with a lady you barely know. But what should you do when you get a rejection to go on a date with you, one after another? For introverts, even a few refusals is already a tragedy. Nevertheless, do not view these rejections as a personal insult. It is not about you. There are many reasons why people may not want to have relationships at this moment, and it has nothing to do with you. Perceive a denial as the fact that a girl doesn’t want relationships at all, NOT the relationships with you.

Meet new people online

If all the previous tips do not work for you, or for some reason you still cannot overcome your inner introvert who constantly pulls you back, try dating sites for introverts. Actually, they are usually called just dating sites, but when you visit one of them, you’ll see that it is a perfect space even for the shyest people on Earth. Ladies who use these sites have only one goal - to find a match. They already want to date, and you will not hear such runarounds as “You are a good guy, but I’m not into dating right now, maybe some time later.” Moreover, many of them make the first step, so it is you who can choose what girl to spend time with now.

Dating sites are also a good practice for those who are not confident enough to talk to a girl in real life. Here, you are absolutely safe, and even if a girl says no, you will not feel that bitter taste as when it happens in reality.

Another advantage is an opportunity to chat with ladies online at any time and anyplace. All these sites have dating apps for introverts. Install it onto your smartphone, and you will not need to search for women anymore because all the females who are open for dating will always be in your pocket.

You are not an introvert

I have good news for you. There is a high chance that you are not an introvert at all. You see, it is natural for people to exaggerate things. Quite often, a simple shyness is misunderstood by people and viewed as introversion. And instead of trying being less shy, people give up, thinking that there is nothing that they can do with it because they are simply introverts and that’s their nature. So, just one symptom is perceived as a diagnosis of a psychological mental state.

The truth is that the number of real introverts is much lower, and you are probably not one of them. There is a high chance that you simply lack confidence which can be solved with little practice. The reason may be that you are afraid of women. Yes, that’s quite a frequent feeling which many boys have. However, most of them get rid of it in their teens, while others take it with them into adult life. Once you start talking with females more, you will lose that feeling of uncertainty and become more confident. It will not be a problem for you anymore to invite a woman on a date.

I want to advise you to give an honest answer to yourself - Why is it so difficult for you to find a woman?

  • I am afraid she will not like me.
  • I am afraid she will refuse.
  • I am afraid she will laugh at me.
  • I am afraid she agrees, and I don’t know what to do next because nobody has ever said ‘yes’ before.

If you have one of these answers, you are not an introvert, you just need a bit more courage. Leave all your doubts behind and make the first step. Don’t be afraid or be ashamed of refusals. Your true love may be waiting for you every day hoping that you will invite her on a date while you are frozen in hesitation and self-reflection. In case you are an introvert, use the tips about dating for introverts that I have mentioned before this last passage. Remember, there is someone special who is waiting for you, all you need is to start acting instead of waiting.

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